The “getting to know you” phase in a relationship is always difficult, especially when it’s dealing with being hired somewhere. They show you a glorious video of people who are happy with their jobs, and being paid to smile about it. These people are usually actors or actual employees who want to be actors, depending on their budget. Some places wait until the orientation to show you these videos, but some show you while you wait to see the hiring manager. Then when you finally get into the manager, they ask you stupid questions that have nothing to do with your job performance or anything about who you are as a desperate person seeking employment. “If you saw someone stealing from the company, would you tell a manager?” you just want to say “it’s none of my business” but you are sure your prospective manager doesn’t want to hear that so you say “yes”. The manager believes this, because that’s the answer they wanted to hear. Does this accurately give the manager an idea of who you are? No.

Now there are even 100 question personality tests at places. Just to see if you will answer “Have you ever reported someone to a manager for stealing” and “Have you ever reported a person to a higher authority within the company for stealing” with the same answer. That’s right folks, this is another tool used to “get to know you”. I don’t know about you, but when I meet someone, I can accurately gauge who they are by asking them 100 mundane questions about their character, to which everyone probably answers the same way.

And what if there is no hell, or they don’t want us there?